Never Feeling Safe At Home – Impact of Domestic Violence on Children

Children are far too often the silent witnesses of domestic violence.In fact, 15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which partner violence occurred at least oncein the past year.* I spoke with Daaiyah H., PADV’s Gwinnett Safe House Children’s Advocate, to find out how domestic violence in the home impacts children.

Children are often left out of discussions about intimate partner violence if they are not targets of abuse. Why is it harmful for children to witness domestic violence? 

Witnessing domestic violence can mean seeing actual incidents of physical and/or sexual abuse. It can mean hearing threats or fighting noises from another room. It can also mean observing the aftermath of it all, such as blood, bruises, tears, torn clothing, and broken items.

Witnessing intimate partner violence is the single best predictor of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. It can also have potential emotional, behavioral and physical effects.

What are some of these potential emotional, behavioral and physical effects of domestic violence on children?

Children who are exposed to domestic violence become fearful and anxious over time. They never know what will trigger the abuse, and, therefore, never feel safe. They are always worried for themselves, their mother, and sibling(s).

The emotional effects of children who witness domestic violence may include fear, guilt, shame, sleep disturbances, sadness, depression, and anger (at both the abuser for the violence and at the mother for being unable to prevent the violence).

The behavioral and social effects of children who witness domestic violence may include acting out, withdrawal or anxiousness to please. The children may exhibit signs of anxiety and have a short attention span which may result in poor school performance and attendance. They may experience developmental delays in speech, motor or cognitive skills. They may also use violence to express themselves, displaying increased aggression with peers or mother.

Physical effects may include stomachaches, headaches, bedwetting and loss of ability to concentrate. Some children maybe even become injured while trying to intervene on behalf of their mother.

How often do children who witness family violence grow up to be victims/abusers?

Children who witness abuse may have a higher risk of becoming an abuser or victim of abuse, but it does not mean that it will happen. Children raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems. They may replicate the violence they witnessed as children in their teen and adult relationships and parenting experiences. Boys who witness their mothers being abused are more likely to abuse their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. For girls, adolescence may result in the belief that threats and violence are the norm in relationships. None of the effects are permanent and may not have a negative outcome depending on how often the children witnessed abuse and if they received a safe place to talk and receive help.

Stay tuned for Part II of Q & A with Daaiyah to learn how she provides a sense of safety as Children’s Advocate at PADV’s Gwinnett Safe House. 

Brooklyn C.

* Whitfield, CL, Anda RF, Dube SR, Felittle VJ. 2003. Violent Childhood Experiences and the Risk of Intimate Partner Violence in Adults: Assessment in a Large Health Maintenance Organization. Journal of Interpersonal Violence.

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