Shining a light on PADV

“You are now entering the mission field.” Sandra Strickland sees this sign before exiting her church building each week. And every time she stops to think about what it means.

Sandra and daughter Theresa Bullock are two extraordinary women who entered the mission field to help the numerous women and children in Gwinnett County who are affected by domestic violence.

Theresa’s daughter was in an abusive relationship in her teenage years. After she received the assistance she needed, Theresa and her husband started looking for a place they could support that helped others like their daughter.

What they found was PADV. Sandra and Theresa were asked to co-chair PADV’s Gwinnett County Safe House Capital Campaign to raise more than $4.4M for a new shelter for abused women. After consulting with their husbands and joining in steadfast prayer, both women agreed to the challenge because they felt that was where God wanted them to be.

Their family gave the lead gift of $500,000 to ensure the new facility is up and running by early 2013.

“Anything that Clyde and I have is not ours. God owns it all,” Sandra said. “What we have we take care of, and once we leave someone else will take care of it.”

The Campaigning Process

Sandra and Theresa’s first task was to create a committee. They approached friends, family and other community connections to put together a dedicated 17-person team.

Then they put their heads together to brainstorm who they would reach out to, including local community organizations, businesses, churches and so on.

It was Sandra’s idea to contact 12Stone Church, which gave $100,000 – the first of many generous donations. 12Stone’s contribution fueled excitement among other churches like Holy Cross Anglican Church and Saint Lawrence Catholic Church, which invited the committee to speak at their services. Even if the committee only spoke for five minutes, their message touched many hearts because generous funds rolled in.

From there, the word continued to spread as the committee spoke at other Christian organizations, women’s groups, rotary clubs, Sunday schools and even the Gwinnett Chamber of Commerce.

“After a while, you just learned to talk about it wherever you went,” Theresa said. “I even started dropping off brochures at retail stores and other places I came across throughout the day.”

The team also conducted a letter-writing campaign to friends and family, which raised nearly $90,000 through checks that ranged from $5 to $5,000.

“It wasn’t about the size of the check but the size of people’s hearts,” Sandra said. “We were thrilled every time we got even a $25 check. That’s a lot of money for some people and a lot of money to us.”

Sandra and Theresa both say that every little bit helped PADV reach the larger goal.

The committee also received $750,000 from the Robert W. Woodruff Foundation, an anonymous gift of $600,000 and a $1,630,000 contribution from the Gwinnett County Community Development Block Grant to purchase the land and building for the new shelter. In all, the campaign received an estimated 21 large gifts and 152 others.

Coming Full Circle

After months of campaigning and fundraising, the committee is close to reaching their goal. Sandra and Theresa feel like the Gwinnett community is aware of PADV and standing strong behind its mission.  

“To me, this has been one of the most rewarding projects I’ve taken on,” Sandra said. “And I don’t like calling it a project because it’s about people and the lives of their children.”

In addition to improving the lives of victims of domestic violence, the Gwinnett Safe House creates jobs for those hired to work on the construction of the building.

“I love things that help people. PADV cares about the lives of our women and children,” Sandra Said. “It’s not how much money we have but what we have done for others.”

Sandra and Theresa both talked about how moved they were by the people they met and the stories they heard along the way.

“You know you’re doing what you are supposed to be doing when you can talk about it to anyone and people can come and talk to you,” Theresa said. “I’ve been in different places where people come up and ask to talk to me. We’ve been able to help people get to where they need to be.”

But the work doesn’t stop here.

“The future is going to be keeping the shelter going,” Theresa said. “Educating people about PADV’s mission is really important. We have to continue letting people know we’re helping and here. We have to make people aware that PADV provides help and hope for them to escape domestic violence.”

Sheryl Sellaway

Sheryl Sellaway

In recognition of our 25^th Gala, we are launching the PADV Legacy Society. This society will honor people who have graciously given their time, energy and resources to shape PADV into the life-changing organization it is today.

Our next inductee, Verizon Wireless Executive Director of Public Relations Sheryl Sellaway, is a woman of many hats. Over the past 10 years, Sellaway has served PADV as an active board member, chair, vice-chair and executive committee member. She began her PADV journey through Verizon, a company with a long-standing commitment to domestic violence.

“One of my employees was looking to get us more involved with the organization,” Sellaway said. “That year we sponsored Hearts with Hope. It all began there.”

In addition to Hearts with Hope, over the years Verizon has also been an annual sponsor of the PADV’s Domestic Violence in the Workplace conferences and hosted employee drives to collect items for the shelter.

“Over the years, we’ve seen Domestic Violence in the Workplace as a great opportunity to address the issue and prevention—and serve as a beacon for other companies,” Sellaway said.

Upon joining the Board of Directors, Sellaway was able to equip her co-workers with tools to address domestic violence and show internal and external support for the issue. She credits PADV for the knowledge she gained about domestic violence.

“I started going to the workplace conferences and heard more and more stories,” Sellaway said. “I’ve always had empathy for the issue, and yet  the conferences  have served as a place where I could gather more information. And, publicly support an issue that is not often discussed publicly. Remember, the average person will go back to an abusive situation several times. Most people don’t understand that. Sharing the knowledge, along with safety tips has been helpful.

Domestic Violence does not stop at home, according to Sellaway. The emotional distress can follow victims to the workplace. She charges companies to take action.

“Let’s focus on prevention and eradicate domestic violence long-term, while encouraging survivors,” Sellaway said. “We want to see a long term drop and we want to encourage victims to be survivors—some within our own company. Sellaway also believes, at times,  the media has desensitized the severity of domestic violence.

“Most people don’t think about how serious an issue is until they watch a tragedy on the news,” Sellaway stated. “Sometimes we trivialize violence because of the way women are treated in movies, music and entertainment. These attitudes can formulate in peoples’ minds on how women are supposed to be treated.”

Support, knowledge and compassion are three qualities Sellaway says the community should possess regarding domestic violence.

“Seek to be actively involved and not a bystander,” Sellaway said. “You are showing empathy and compassion by acknowledging the problem. You don’t have to be survivor to support our mission, but a person who cares about the lives of children and families.”

Kelly Barrett

Kelly Barrett

In recognition of our 25^th Gala, we are launching the PADV Legacy Society. This society will honor people who have graciously given their time, energy and resources to shape PADV into the life-changing organization it is today.

We ask that you consider nominating an individual who has significantly impacted PADV’s progress and development to be a member of our inaugural class. The nomination form can be found here. Once you complete the form, please email it to Meagan Fulmer at meagan@padv.org.

Board of Directors member Kelly Barrett is our next inductee. She has served PADV for a total of six years, devoting two years to the Hearts with Hope host committee and four to the board.

“I am so humbled and honored to be asked to join the Legacy Society, “ said The Home Depot Vice President of Internal Audit and Corporate Compliance. “There are so many great people who are dedicated to PADV. I am very impressed with the level of commitment towards our mission.”

Genevieve Bos, a close friend of Barrett’s, first introduced her to PADV.

“Genevieve was on the Hearts with Hope steering committee and asked me if I would serve on the host committee,” Barrett explained.  “After a few years, I was asked to join the board. I enjoy the whole notion of helping women.”

Barrett believes it is her civic duty to give back to women who are less fortunate.

“One reason many women don’t leave abusive relationships is because they don’t have the financial support,” Barrett said. “For somebody like me who is fortunate, I felt like I had to share my opportunities. Working with PADV is very empowering.”

After viewing the new Gwinnett Shelter for the first time, Barrett experienced another empowering moment.

“As I pulled into the driveway, I saw how beautiful the shelter was and I just started crying,” Barrett said. “Imagine if you were a woman in a domestic violence situation … to arrive at this safe haven, see that gorgeous facility and finally feel safe. We toured the inside and after the meeting I just started crying again. I thought to myself, ‘This is what it’s all about. We are fulfilling our mission.’”

While working with PADV, Barrett’s eyes were opened to how many people are affected by domestic violence not only in their personal lives, but also in the workplace.

“Domestic violence is a difficult subject to talk about,” Barrett said.  “I now understand the importance of being supportive and providing a support system.”  

Barrett has also gained several meaningful relationships through service. She cites her bond with fellow Board members as another rewarding result of her PADV experience.

“We have been through a lot together,” Barrett said. “We have all worked hard to support and strengthen the organization. I will always cherish and value the relationships I made through PADV.”

Susan Carini

Susan Carini

In recognition of our 25^th Gala, we are launching the PADV Legacy Society. This society will honor people who have graciously given their time, energy and resources to shape PADV into the life-changing organization it is today.

We ask that you consider nominating an individual who has significantly impacted PADV’s progress and development to be a member of our inaugural class. The nomination form can be found here. Once you complete the form, please email it to Meagan Fulmer at meagan@padv.org.

Our next inductee, PADV Board Member Susan Carini, started her journey of service as a crisis-line volunteer.

“Six months after working the hotline, a woman called,” Carini recalled. “As a teen, she was taken captive by a boyfriend, sexually abused and damaged. Many years later, on the eve of getting out of prison, her abuser already was threatening her through text messages. She had had no contact with him for 20 years. “I’m not by nature a person who cries with strangers, but I was so moved. The fact that she had the strength to get through the first incident and continue to deal with his harassment moved me. I will never forget that woman’s story.”

It was through this experience that Carini realized the impact of her volunteerism. At the beginning of her work on the crisis line, she sometimes doubted her ability to handle such a pivotal role.

“You can imagine what comes through the other side of the phone and what it was like to hear the women’s stories,” Carini said. “You have to be quick on your feet because you could cost someone their life. [Working on the crisis line] made me understand that so many calls are genuine cries for help. These are women showing strength by saying, ‘Okay, now I need a little help.’

Carini was first inspired to lend a helping hand after a conversation with Emory colleague Samantha Engle.

“I’ve devoted a lot of time within Emory’s walls to issues affecting women, but I wanted to venture out and do more,” said Carini, the executive director of Emory Creative Group. “After I spoke with Samantha, she connected me with PADV. She also has a very strong interest in work advancing women and a great respect for how the organization was run.”

Through her hands-on attitude and dedication to PADV’s mission, Carini was invited to join the Board of Directors. Carini now has served PADV for a total of seven years.

“Without a doubt, my experience with PADV has changed me,” Carini said. “I have a great love of animals and for a long time would not give to charities that didn’t support animals. Then PADV came along and changed my perspective. PADV taught me to open up parts of myself that had not been open. I found a new road for my compassion.”

Susan Berryman Rodriguez

Susan Berryman Rodriguez

We’re pleased to reveal our second PADV Legacy Society Inductee: Susan Berryman.  Employed with PADV as its Media & Community Relations Director and ascending to Vice President-Communications before leaving the agency after more than 10 years of service, read more about how the public relations professional created value-based messaging that framed the root causes of domestic violence while exhibiting compassion for the women and children PADV serves.

It’s difficult for a person to engage as either a staff member or a volunteer without having a connection to the cause. What was the connection that drew you to employment with PADV?

As a feminist I’m deeply committed to fighting for women’s rights and equality.  In my worldview, intimate partner violence is the ultimate form of gender oppression.  There’s a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. that says, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” If a woman can’t be free and equal in her own home, how can she be free and equal anywhere else in the world? 

What were some of the challenges PADV faced when you started your tenure?  How has that changed?

PADV didn’t have a volunteer program, website, annual report, newsletter, much media coverage, public events to raise awareness, media and communications policies, crisis communication plans, strategic communications plans, media and advertising partnerships, or a way to honor and celebrate the courage and strength of domestic violence survivors. PADV has all of these things now to help engage the community and recruit new donors, plus a solid, strong legion of the best volunteers in Atlanta.

Your nominator credited you as the brainchild for many of PADV’s signature programming events (“Silent No More Candlelight Vigil”, DVIW”, “DV Survivor Speaks Out”).  What was your inspiration behind these programs?  

My inspiration came from the women and children we served. I recognized that there was a great need to help the community understand that domestic violence was about power and control, and survivors aren’t weak victims but strong women surviving every day.

What do you believe is PADV’s greatest legacy to date?

Three things! PADV’s first greatest legacy to date is providing a safe haven for thousands of women and children and offering them a new lease on life.

PADV’s second greatest legacy is to the community through its annual DVIW conference. Financial security is essential to a battered woman’s ability to break the cycle of violence.  A woman can find safety and anonymity in one of PADV’s safe havens, but if she works outside the house, her batterer knows where to find her.  This puts her and her co-workers at risk of injury and even murder.  And yet, no one was talking about how domestic violence follows women to work.

Too many survivors were getting fired because of their situation; employment offers them a way to escape the abuse and become self-sufficient. At the time, there was no other organization focusing on this important workplace issue. With the generous support from Rich’s (now Macy’s) and Verizon Wireless, PADV has been hosting this event for more than 10 years.   The DVIW conference also offers an excellent way for PADV to engage the corporate community. 

PADV’s third greatest legacy is its annual Teen Summit.  Teaching young boys and girls to respect each other and to treat each other as equals is the best solution to end domestic violence.

Our works, deeds and actions formulate our legacy.  Looking back on your body of work, what do you believe is your greatest legacy?

I made certain that the women and children served by PADV were at the center of all of our communications. Their stories needed to be told. Their victories needed to be celebrated, and their strength and courage, recognized. Establishing the Purple Heart with Hope Award was just one of the many ways I did this. I hope that by giving domestic violence survivors a platform to share their stories, I was able to help them reclaim their own empowerment knowing that they were inspiring others with their courage and determination.

For more than 25 years, Partnership Against Domestic Violence (PADV) has had a safe house in Gwinnett County to ensure the safety of the victims of intimate partner violence. Over the course of those years, PADV has invested more than $20 million into serving Gwinnett County. Each year, approximately 260 women and children receive emergency shelter and support services at the shelter. In recent years, the need for safe shelter has unfortunately grown and remains particularly acute in Gwinnett County. From 2003-2010, Gwinnett County had more known cases of domestic-related fatalities than any other county in Georgia.

In the recent years, it became increasingly obvious to PADV that the shelter in Gwinnett County was no longer sufficient or suitable for the needs of the women and children in need of a safe, healing, and nurturing place torecover and grow.

On February 19^th, a new, 13,400-square foot, two-story safe house opened in Gwinnett County. The new facility boasts 12 bedrooms with semi-private bathrooms that will accommodate 50-55 women and children, increasing capacity by 50%; kitchen with commercial-grade GE appliances and a separate dining area; several communal areas for residents; a dedicated area for youth programs; a large outdoor playground and an outdoor retreat/garden area for the women. Most importantly, the house provides sanctity, warmth, and the space that will help provide the women and children the support they need to rebuild their lives.

On May 4^th, the 25^th Hearts with Hope Gala will celebrate the accomplishments of PADV, its volunteers, and those that PADV has helped to heal. While recognizing allof those that have worked so hard at sharing the mission of PADV, the Gala also serves as the largest fundraiser. The money that is donated at the Gala remains here in Georgia to help local victims become victors. Your contributions helped to make the safe house a reality and a starting point for women and children to begin anew.

PADV Legacy Society: Honoring Our Past, Looking Toward Our Future

Cammie Rice

For more than 37 years, Partnership Against Domestic Violence (PADV) has been serving the Atlanta community. On May 4, 2013, we will celebrate an important milestone with the 25^th anniversary of the Hearts with Hope Gala, our largest annual fundraiser. The Gala is a special time to reflect on our accomplishments and share our goals for the future. Most importantly, the Gala recognizes domestic violence survivors and give thanks to PADV supporters who have contributed their time and energy to our organization’s cause.

In recognition of our 25^th Gala, we are launching the Women’s Legacy Society. This society will honor people who have graciously given their time, energy and resources to shape PADV into the life-changing organization it is today.

We ask that you consider nominating an individual who has significantly impacted PADV’s progress and development to be a member of our inaugural class. The nomination form can be found here. Once you complete the form, please email it to Meagan Fulmer at meagan@padv.org.

To inspire your nominations, we want to announce our first inductee: Cammie Rice. Cammie was integral part of our organization when she lived in Atlanta, and she continues to play an important role from her new home in Southeast Asia, where she serves as Vice Chairman of Usher’s New Look. We had the chance to sit down with Cammie and talk about her experience with PADV and how it’s impacted her life. Here are notes from our chat:

How did you get involved with PADV? Why did the issues become important to you?

I was first introduced to PADV by a close friend and was immediately impacted by the degree to which it affects so many families. In 2007, my husband and I were asked to co-chair the Hearts with Hope Gala. Prior to the Gala, we hosted a fundraising event at our house, and I discovered that one of the women who spoke lived in a nearby neighborhood. It was then that I realized how widespread domestic violence is and that you never know where the victims might turn up.

Now, I live on the other side of the world, and I am still spreading the word about PADV and domestic violence. Not only do I financially support PADV in Atlanta, but I’m involved with organizations in Southeast Asia that are working to end abuse. I don’t make a motivational speech without mentioning my work with PADV, as it is a huge part of my life and will always hold a special place in my heart.

What are some of your biggest learning’s from working with PADV?

Hands-on experience plays an important role in understanding the organization. During my time as co-chair of the Gala and as a PADV board member, I visited the shelters and saw the women and children who were victims of the horrible abuse. I spent a lot of time with the children doing different activities. I’ll never forget one instance where we were drawing pictures, and this little girl drew a horrific picture full of darkness and black clouds and explained that it was of her life. It was so heartbreaking to hear and see how deeply affected she was by the situations that took place before she arrived at the shelter. I then had her draw a different picture with the sun and images of what she wants her life to look like. You truly understand the severity of domestic violence when you see the effects firsthand.

You mentioned that you are still involved with PADV and ending domestic violence in your current community. What types of things are you doing to raise awareness?

All of these powerful experiences caused me to investigate domestic violence issues in SE Asia and Hong Kong where I now live. It’s both interesting and unfortunate to know that domestic violence is just as prevalent around the world as it is in the States. I do a great deal of motivational speaking, and I always challenge the members of the audience to get involved in some way. Obviously, monetary donations are greatly appreciated, but if you don’t have those resources, you can volunteer your time, and that is worth just as much. I believe that if every person could just do one thing — donate one item, volunteer one hour or get the word out to one person — it would greatly impact PADV.

What are some things you see that are important to the future of PADV?

It’s important for the community to know that domestic violence is so much more prevalent than we realize. A lot of people still see it as a taboo topic and believe it only happens in certain areas of town or in certain lines of work. But the truth is this: domestic violence affects people in every income bracket, people of every race and people living in all areas of town. At the shelter, we had women getting off the bus and women showing up in BMW’s. It’s not just income related across the board.

I would encourage business leaders to take note and get involved. The time I spent on the PADV board running development was one of the most rewarding experiences. I think we all have the ability to step in as a community and as a team to make an impact for the 19,000+ women and children that PADV serves.

DVIW Conference: an HR Manager Shares Her Reality

It’s hard for me to believe that men really hit women. I know it shouldn’t be hard to
believe – I’ve known too many victims, read too many stories, seen too many ugly
results. But still, at my core, I find it hard to believe.

But it’s true. And sometimes women hit men. And sometimes they – men and women –
do much more. And sometimes the psychological threat of a beating is just as effective
as the kick or the punch.

I’m an HR leader — by work and by passion. And in all my years of work, safety has
been a critical part of my role. I’ve thought of the workplace as “my place” – where I
was responsible for the well-being of every one of my employees. And that is what
connected me to PADV — Partnership Against Domestic Violence. Its vision is to create
a community free of domestic violence.

I wanted – and still do want – a workplace free of violence and the threat of violence.
And often that threat comes from home and into work.

Today I’m working with PADV and SHRM Atlanta to equip HR folks in the metro area
with the knowledge, the tools and the support to make sure the team at “their place”
is safe and secure. I want HR to know the signs and the steps; I want co-workers to
know how to offer meaningful support; I want victims to know where to get help; I want
supervisors to be informed; I want businesses to have a game plan. I want us to realize
that just because we want to believe “Oh, it doesn’t happen here,” the reality is that we
know that it does happen here. It happens everywhere. Every day.

It’s about building a web of trust, about having a plan and a response. But more
importantly, it’s about knowing the reality.

Every year approximately 18,700 violent workplace events are committed by an intimate
partner of the victim at the workplace.

As an HR leader, all too often I wake in the night, playing over in my head a
conversation, a concern — wondering if I have missed a signal that meant employees
were in danger.

It’s time to be informed. It’s time to be involved. If you are HR in metro Atlanta, check
out http://www.padv.org. The organization’s annual Domestic Violence in the Workplace
Conference takes place on October 10 at The Home Depot Corporate headquarters.

And if you are HR anywhere, join the conversation and the expectation that HR has an
important role to play. According to the CDC, one in four women is – at least once in her
life – a victim of domestic violence, emphasis on violence. You can make a difference in
her life. Be aware. Be informed. Take action.

My experience as a PADV Volunteer

Volunteering at Partnership Against Domestic Violence (PADV) has been a life-changing experience for me.  Since March 2010, I have been privileged to work with amazing women who have triumphed over great challenges and indescribable circumstances to become empowered and independent.

I started working in the Fulton County shelter as a crisis line volunteer. I also helped prepare space for new clients, organized a household goods and toiletries drive, and worked at the annual gala. Since January 2011, I have co-facilitated the weekly residential support group. Initially working with Charlotte Ives, a former social work student intern, and more recently with Edi Garrett, volunteer extraordinaire, this experience has been a great opportunity to prepare topics of interest for the group participants. Each week, I looked forward to our lively discussions on topics including self-esteem, healthy relationships, personal care, and support systems. Although we prepared agendas weeks in advance, each meeting was an opportunity for group members to share with one another and gain support because the group belonged to them.

Oftentimes, group members expressed how they were more confident in themselves and their ability to live a healthier, self-sustaining, violence-free life after participating in support group. The opportunity to talk in a supportive environment and share similar stories helped women understand the affects of domestic violence and have a feeling of support and camaraderie. These experiences have encouraged participants to focus on moving beyond their past and confirmed for me the importance of equipping people with the knowledge to make decisions about their health and personal welfare.

My time spent at PADV was valuable and I learned so much from group members. This fall, I will attend the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill to pursue a PhD in Public Health (concentration in Health Behavior, minor in Epidemiology) and I will study intimate partner violence (IPV) and health effects.

In honor of the women I worked with at PADV who shared their oftentimes painful stories and their hopes for the future on a weekly basis, I urge everyone to take action against IPV. We can help by volunteering our time, voices, money, and talents to fight against IPV. If we see someone in harm’s way, we should alert the proper authorities, and if someone shares her story, we should believe her because it may be her only opportunity for escape. We can contribute to positive social norms by having a mindset that says “we will not tolerate violence” and by educating others about the problem.

I am honored PADV staff members entrusted me with this opportunity to work with the women they serve. I only hope that I was able to give back a portion of what I gained from staff members, other volunteers, and most importantly, the women who participated in the support group each week.

DVIW: A Co-Worker Shares Her Story of the Day Violence Came to Her Workplace

“He said he’d kill me.”

My experience with domestic violence in the workplace still seems very surreal even though it happened over two years ago.

When do you know someone is crying out for help?  And when you realized the subtle signs are more like a hair-raising shriek, what do you do?  It was a mundane hump day when my co-worker asked me to lunch.  There was nothing out of the ordinary, except for the fact that she asked me out to lunch.  We had invited her out on several occasions, but to no avail, so I figured she was just not the “lunch with the girls” type.  But this particular Wednesday she practically twisted my arm, even offering to treat.

The conversation to the restaurant was typical: updates on work, venting about managers, the usual.  I noticed that she kept checking her phone, so I asked if she needed to take a call.  Her reply was no, so I just kept chatting.

Mid-way through lunch, her phone was still buzzing away.  So much so, that it’s garnering some attention from the table next to us as it has vibrated its way across the table right next to the glass salt shaker and is making quite the rattling noise.  So, as I reach to push it away from the salt shaker, I hear her screech “Oh God, please don’t pick it up.  He said he’d kill me!!”

That’s not love. It’s abuse.

Blank stare. That was my initial reaction to her revelation.  I put my fork down on the table and tried to muster some words.  Once my shock dissipates, I asked, “Stacey, are you alright?”  Then the tears began to flow.  As she begins to explain how her boyfriend of nine months has forbidden her to go out to lunch with anybody, she follows it up with how much he loves her.  Then she says he only gets this mad when she “disobeys” him and continues to say things will get better when they can start a family together.  Next she decides to clarify that he just loves her so much he wants her all to himself.

This is the point when I can’t take another word, and I blurt out, “Stacey, if a man says he’ll kill you, believe him.  That’s not love. It’s abuse. ” It appeared that the word ‘abuse’ conjured up an image in her mind as she began to shake her head violently.

“No, no, no, he’s never really hit me or anything.  He just gets angry and threatens and stuff – - – you know.”

I respond:  “No, I don’t know.  And there’s no such thing as REALLY being hit.  Either he has hit you or he hasn’t.  Which one is it?”  Then the tears begin again.  As if all of this wasn’t shocking enough, she really throws me for a loop when she says, “Please don’t tell anyone.  You’re the only one I trust and I’m afraid if he finds out I said something, he really might kill me.” ….

WHAT!!!!!

What in the world do I do with that???  Don’t tell anyone!  Are you kidding me?  Here I am looking at this text book battered woman and I’m not supposed to say anything.  What in the world do I do with that????

Learn more, so you can do more.

By this time, lunch hour has turned into lunch hour and a half.  I promise my silence and I ask for a promise in return.  She promises that she will talk to a professional about what is going on in her relationship, and though I don’t believe her, I feel bound by my promise and fearful that any other action could cause a re-action of death for her.

She had 23 missed calls in an hour and a half.  He called almost every three minutes, and I had promised to keep it to myself.  To this day I don’t know if I did the right thing or not.  This is why discussions of domestic violence in the workplace are important.  How do you know when or if you will be placed in a position when you will have to make a decision that may place someone else’s health or life at risk?  Though I kept my promise, it didn’t keep the violence from escalating.  It happened at work, and as he had his hands around her neck another co-worker witnessed it and reported it.  I’ll never know if my promise of silence helped or hurt her, but I did sit in on a ‘Violence in the Workplace Lunch & Learn’ in hopes that I might be better informed and prepared to handle such a situation if it ever presented itself again.

Learn more, so you can do more. Attend the Domestic Violence in the Workplace conference on October 10 to learn more about what you can do to recognize the signs of domestic violence in your workplace, and create an environment that is safe for all employees. Visit padv.org for more information.